Fav 5 Celebrity Relatives!

Maybe I was inspired by Memorial Day weekend as families gather together for barbeque's, maybe I was just thinking about my brother because today's his birthday or maybe I just needed a reason to post a video of Jackie Stallone eating jumbo shrimp. Whatever the reason, here's my Fav 5 Celebrity Relatives!

1.) La Toya Jackson: You might think that your wacked out uncle who used to belong to a cult and  now repos cars is the craziest family member anyone could ever have but you're wrong! La Toya Jackson wins that title by a landslide. From salacious tell-all books and nude photo shoots with reptiles, to an awful acting career and a vomit inducing music career, La Toya is the one to beat. So, as the lady herself says, "Roll up your sleeves and give me some respect!"

2.) Jackie Stallone: Rambo's mom is one big bucket of extra crispy crazy! Don't believe me? Well check out her appearance on the UK's Celebrity Big Brother. She looks like Ursula the Sea Witch from The Little Mermaid. Except melted. And drunk. Like the lovely La Toya, Jackie also loves headbands as well as  wrestling, rapping, rumpology, and yes, jumbo shrimp. Mama Stallone is a mutha like no otha' and for that we should all be grateful.

3.)Jimmy Osmond: I really don't know what to say about the toothiest and youngest member of the Osmond clan. If Marie was a little bit country and Donnie was a little bit rock and roll, then Jimmy was what? A little bit scary? A little bit dorky? Like I said I'm at a loss so I'll let this clip from Fame do the talking.

4) Liz & Jean Sagal:  I loved Double Trouble, a sitcom about a pair of trouble making twins from 1984. I'm sure it's totally unwatchable now but as a kid I thought it was the bomb. Liz and Jean's more famous sister Katey Sagal went on to play Peg Bundy for a billion years and the twins went on to little else. Still, they were in Grease 2 and Howard the Duck so that's why they make the list.

5.)Hoku Ho: Don Ho's daughter had some minor hit songs like "Perfect Day" which was in Legally Blonde and commercials for JC Penny clearance sales. Gee, I didn't mean to make that sound so sad but looking at it now really depresses me. Well, she was also in a movie called Arizona Summer with Greg Evigan and Morgan Fairchild too. Okay I'm making things worse. But Hoko has a special place in my heart simply because of her name. I love it. I love saying it. If I was a Thundercat or ninja, I would yell "HOKU HO"  as my battle cry and then I'd kick some serious ass. 

Happy Memorial Day!

Mrs. Huxtable's Funky Little Secret.

I love hidden disco gems and I love television stars who sing (Joey Lawrence, anyone?). So imagine my delight when I stumbled upon Josephine Superstar by Phylicia Allen. 

Apparently, Mrs Huxtable threw her hat into the disco ring with this concept record that told the life story of Josephine Baker all set to a funky beat! No, I'm not making this up. There's a hilarious blog about it here if you don't believe me!

Phylicia was married to the original lead singer of The Village People, Victor Willis who wrote much of the tracks on the album. Released on the legendary disco label Casablanca Records in 1978, Josephine Superstar is a big bag of campy disco just waiting to be rediscovered! Sadly, I couldn't find clip of "Don't Cry Mommy" that features a children's choir (again, not kidding) but I think this little nugget will wet your appetite nicely.

Enjoy! 

Fav 5 Songs of the Week! Super Gay Edition!

It's Fav 5 time again, darlings. This homolicious list won't make you more gay than you already are but hopefully it makes you shake your ass.

1.) "Spotlight", Jennifer Hudson- What could be gayer than a song sung by the star of a hit musical? "Spotlight" invokes the soul sounds of retro R&B divas like Tina Turner and Phyllis Hyman with it's "ooh, ooh, ooh" backing vocals and smooth drumbeats. Fierce!

2.) "Give it to Me", Madonna- Since my review of her newest album, I've actually grown to really love some of the songs like "Give it to Me". Great for housecleaning and private dance parties.

3.) "Into the Nightlife", Cyndi Lauper- Taking a page from the Cher handbook, La Lauper's newest album is a big gay dance record. Working with Max Martin, Scrumfrog, and Basement Jaxx, Bring Ya to the Brink is an electro-filled goodie bag and this song is one of the best.

4.)"You Know Me Better", Roisin Murphy- I'm tired of telling people how amazing this album is but the world still doesn't listen so I guess I'll have to keep preaching. Hopefully, this single, the third from the brilliant Overpowered, will finally make the doubters take notice.

5.)"Cheap and Cheerful", The Kills- A fucking awesome track with great lyrics from one of the best bands in the world. What queer guy or gal wouldn't love The Kills' brand of in your face art-rock?

Have a gay ole weekend!

Peach

Saint Cyndi

It's hard for me to not get a little emotional when I talk about Cyndi Lauper. Seriously.  My history with the singer is a layered and deep one, child.

I was 11 years old when I rode my bike down to Peaches Records & Tapes (the real name of the chain, by the way) in Denver and bought my own copy of  She's So Unusual on vinyl. It was the first record I purchased with my own money that I earned from baby sitting. More than that, it was my record. It wasn't my sister's English Beat albums, that I was forbidden to touch unless supervised but this belonged to me. I listened to over and over again not just because it was the only one in my collection but because I genuinely loved it. I read the liner notes repeatedly and memorized every lyric to every song. Something about this crazy girl from Queens with the Betty Boop voice and Skittle colored hair just spoke to me. 

Cyndi was unafraid to be herself and relished being unique and different. Even crazier, the world embraced her for it! Looking back, it was clearly a message I needed to hear. I was a femmine kid with a high pitched voice and an awkward demeanor. I spent a lot of time feeling bad that I wasn't like other kids. On some level, I must have soaked up Cyndi's mission statement of individuality somewhere along the way. Performers like her, Boy George, and Debbie Harry weren't like everybody else and I strived to be cool and weird like them, not wanting to fit in. Cyndi and her contemporaries literally saved my life and I'm eternally grateful.

25 years later, Cyndi's message is more powerful than anyone would have ever imagined. Her True Colors Tour is in it's second year and bigger than ever. Her work for the Human Rights Campaign and her support for gay marriage is tireless and never ending. Cyndi is also regarded as an icon of modern feminism. She's still reinventing her sound as an artist (more on that later) and somehow remains relevant, puffy skirts and wacky hair notwithstanding. She continues to be honored by the music community as well as the gay community.

I can't be sure if Cyndi Lauper set out to provide hope to kids like me decades ago. And I don't know if she knows how important she is or if anybody else feels the same way. But, I do know this- if this was your intention Cyndi, then mission accomplished and thank you from the bottom of my big gay heart. 

Super Gay Friday Music Day!

Since I already posted a blog about Donna Summer, I decided to go titties to the wind and just do a super Gay edition of Friday Music Day! After all, June is Gay Pride month and yours truly is feeling all pink and fuzzy these days what with marriage finally being legal here in California.

What better way to get things started than a music video by NYC's The Dazzle Dancers? A club version of The Love Boat theme sung by what sounds like a German transsexual filled with glitter covered dancers is about the gayest thing I've ever seen. And this is coming from the guy who used to throw fashion shows for his My Little Ponies as a small child. 

So are The Dazzle Dancers frightening or fabulous? Personally, I think it's a little of both but you decide! 

Toot! Toot! Ah. Beep, Beep!

After 17 years, Donna Summer, the queen of disco is back with her new album Crayons and you know what? It's not half bad. Sure, some of the tracks will magically transport you to gay bar happy hour filled with go-go dancers in banana hammocks and half priced vodka tonics but the woman is no dummy and she knows her audience. 

Surprisingly, Donna does some more "urban" sounding tracks that are pretty good. The first single "Stamp Your Feet" is a bumping warm weather anthem which although not terribly original manages to sound modern and catchy. Her voice sounds still sounds amazing and that was always her secret weapon.

Sure, the name Donna Summer is synonymous with poppers and platform shoes but it's her voice that always set her apart. She cowrote most of  new the record in addition to all of her previous songs, most of which were about prostitution.  Seriously, her contributions to music are worth noting and if Crayons helps get her a little more respect than I say good for her. 

Dear Carrie Underwood,

First off, let me say I love you. I do. Your brand of country pop isn't exactly my cup of tea but you've got some killer pipes and you seem like a nice person which makes what I'm about to say all the more painful. 

Last night's outfit on the American Idol finale was the last straw. I've put up with your never ending love of dressy shorts and sparkly tops because you're a country star and your fashion rules are different from the rest of us.  But honey, forgetting your pants and draping yourself in Charmin Ultra Soft is where I draw the line. Less of a fashion statement and more of a cry for help, this ensemble actually made me sad. 

It brings a tear to my I when I think of a star like yourself being unable to find the right homosexual to make these choices for you. I emphasize the word "right" because assuming that one is a style guru just based on their sexual preference is foolish.  Just ask Paula Abdul, who surrounds herself with gays and still winds up looking like a cake topper at a quinceanera most of the time. A no-nonsense hip homo could have prevented this confounding stripper-meets-televangelist nightmare from ever happening.

 Also, it concerns me that the people around you aren't being honest with you. Is there no one in your life to look you in the eye and say "No, Carrie. That's hideous"? Everyone, famous or not, requires an inner circle of confidants to tell us no on a regular basis. Without folks like this, how would we ever know if we had spinach in our teeth or if our jeans made us look fat? Carrie, I'd be that person for you, no questions asked. Just say the word and I'll tell you to not wear a side ponytail with a dress that looks like a doily.  Not because I judge you but because I care.

In closing, I'd like to add that your not the only Idol in need of help, so don't feel bad. Poor Jordin Sparks looked like a Wurther's Original last night in her gold mumu and orange nail polish. And the less said about Fantasia's pink hair, the better. Even my beloved Kelly Clarkson has made some fashion belly flops. 

Point is, Carrie your gorgeous and you deserve better. Leave the toilet paper at home next time, remember to put on your pants, and you always have the red carpets at the Grammys or a billion country awards shows to redeem yourself. 

Love ya,

Peach